I'm supposed to be meeting my gf darLing pretty soon, so I can't blog alot.
Will update when I get back/if I am not tired out from all the festivities.
Here's wishing everyone a smashing and great 2007 ahead!
Cheerios!
*SmooOches*
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Friday, December 29, 2006
Que Sara Sara...
Last night was a lot of fun! My girlies and I had heaps of fun! And I had a very interesting conversation with one of my girlies over supper/breakfast at a fast food place from the wee hours after our round of "exercise"/"booty shaking" (*Laughs*) until like people were off to work! =P
She was having boy issues and the horrid thing was that she needed to move on from a particular guy-friend whom was never her bf or partner...That was the tricky part as in my opinion, I felt as though that the guy had been forever taking her presence in his life for granted, and she was constantly treated like a rag doll...She had to be there for him, but whenever she needed him, he was nowhere!
I hoped after the really long conversation, I did talked some sense into her and that she would realise that the best thing for her now, if she really want to move on is to totally try to get the guy out of her life...The first step would most definitely be the toughest step to make, but I hope she would find the courage to take that first step towards better things and better men in her life! =)
The situation that she is currently in kinda reminded me of myself a couple of months ago, where I was in her position, and I had my lovely gfs and guy-friends telling me to be courageous and take the first step in moving on...I look back at those memories with a smile, and I am very grateful that I had my lovable friends and my family whom gave me heaps of strength in taking that first step, with my PINK "crutches" strapped on in place...
This is for my dearest gf - Always remember my dearie darling, I love you and I would be there for you, come what may! And may you emerge a stronger girl after this experience! *HuGs*
On another note, since it was during peak hours that I finally gotten home, I had to be stuck in a traffic jam and I slept really "early" and woke up really late! *Laughs* And waking up to heaps of missed calls and SMS-es isn't that nice! But it made me realise that I have heaps of friends that missed me enough to send me messages and a particular friend, J, actually called me while he was at work just for a chat! Hope he wasn't caught or something! *SmiLes*
And its funny how time would perhaps strengthen a person emotionally and at the same time, make people more mature on their outlooks of life and things in general. It was a lil' strange cos I had a missed call in the night from this friend of mine, Y, who told me via MSN later on in the night that he had been busy with work, which was why he hardly contacted me and stuff, and it was due to the transition to the new job that he couldn't like contact me as much as he had done so like he did in the past, or contact me more often as he would have wanted, cos he was really busy with his shifts and stuff...
I found it a lil' weird, for work's generally a convenient excuse for most people for everything else that they would want to/(had) miss(ed) out on in general. I mean, all it takes is a lil' ounce of effort, and I am the sort of person who would appreciate effort and all...Like how my friend, J, (Read above...) actually took the effort to call me just to catch up and chat about random stuff while he was at work. And it wasn't like a short chat, it was close to an hour's time of chatting...I wonder what J was supposed to be doing during his shift when he was on the phone with me...*Laughs*
But Que Sara Sara...Afterall, it takes two to tango, so if Y is reading this (You know who you are), I hope you wouldn't be offended and that I really find it a tad bit awkward to talk to you recently, and I hope its just, like what you've said, you haven't been in touch with me due to your crazy work schdeule...Que Sara Sara...
And from the looks of it, it seems apparent that my "schedule" for the long long weekend might be "fully booked" again! *Laughs* I hate the fact that Ive got a makeup lecture later this afternoon, (Why must it be during the long Christmas week break? O_o ) and I might most probably be meeting the girls for more fun before having meetups and "hot dates" over the longg weekend! *Laughs* Im so dying to "exercise" over a round of "boxing" session!! Man! When can my throat infection recover? (The flubug's since returned to Antartica, but when would the throat infection follow suit? :( )
I need new contact lenses, and more new clothes! *Laughs*
2007 resolution's gonna be up soon..Watch this space! =)
I have been wanting to get a slide up for the longest while, and tahh-dahh, Ive finally gotten it done up all nice and pretty! *Laughs*
Enjoy! =)
She was having boy issues and the horrid thing was that she needed to move on from a particular guy-friend whom was never her bf or partner...That was the tricky part as in my opinion, I felt as though that the guy had been forever taking her presence in his life for granted, and she was constantly treated like a rag doll...She had to be there for him, but whenever she needed him, he was nowhere!
I hoped after the really long conversation, I did talked some sense into her and that she would realise that the best thing for her now, if she really want to move on is to totally try to get the guy out of her life...The first step would most definitely be the toughest step to make, but I hope she would find the courage to take that first step towards better things and better men in her life! =)
The situation that she is currently in kinda reminded me of myself a couple of months ago, where I was in her position, and I had my lovely gfs and guy-friends telling me to be courageous and take the first step in moving on...I look back at those memories with a smile, and I am very grateful that I had my lovable friends and my family whom gave me heaps of strength in taking that first step, with my PINK "crutches" strapped on in place...
This is for my dearest gf - Always remember my dearie darling, I love you and I would be there for you, come what may! And may you emerge a stronger girl after this experience! *HuGs*
On another note, since it was during peak hours that I finally gotten home, I had to be stuck in a traffic jam and I slept really "early" and woke up really late! *Laughs* And waking up to heaps of missed calls and SMS-es isn't that nice! But it made me realise that I have heaps of friends that missed me enough to send me messages and a particular friend, J, actually called me while he was at work just for a chat! Hope he wasn't caught or something! *SmiLes*
And its funny how time would perhaps strengthen a person emotionally and at the same time, make people more mature on their outlooks of life and things in general. It was a lil' strange cos I had a missed call in the night from this friend of mine, Y, who told me via MSN later on in the night that he had been busy with work, which was why he hardly contacted me and stuff, and it was due to the transition to the new job that he couldn't like contact me as much as he had done so like he did in the past, or contact me more often as he would have wanted, cos he was really busy with his shifts and stuff...
I found it a lil' weird, for work's generally a convenient excuse for most people for everything else that they would want to/(had) miss(ed) out on in general. I mean, all it takes is a lil' ounce of effort, and I am the sort of person who would appreciate effort and all...Like how my friend, J, (Read above...) actually took the effort to call me just to catch up and chat about random stuff while he was at work. And it wasn't like a short chat, it was close to an hour's time of chatting...I wonder what J was supposed to be doing during his shift when he was on the phone with me...*Laughs*
But Que Sara Sara...Afterall, it takes two to tango, so if Y is reading this (You know who you are), I hope you wouldn't be offended and that I really find it a tad bit awkward to talk to you recently, and I hope its just, like what you've said, you haven't been in touch with me due to your crazy work schdeule...Que Sara Sara...
And from the looks of it, it seems apparent that my "schedule" for the long long weekend might be "fully booked" again! *Laughs* I hate the fact that Ive got a makeup lecture later this afternoon, (Why must it be during the long Christmas week break? O_o ) and I might most probably be meeting the girls for more fun before having meetups and "hot dates" over the longg weekend! *Laughs* Im so dying to "exercise" over a round of "boxing" session!! Man! When can my throat infection recover? (The flubug's since returned to Antartica, but when would the throat infection follow suit? :( )
I need new contact lenses, and more new clothes! *Laughs*
2007 resolution's gonna be up soon..Watch this space! =)
I have been wanting to get a slide up for the longest while, and tahh-dahh, Ive finally gotten it done up all nice and pretty! *Laughs*
Enjoy! =)
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Thirty Random Questions...
I got this from a blog that I frequent pretty often...Just thought of doing something random today... *Laughs*
Ive got the urge to bake a raspberry and bluberry cheesecake! Dont ask me why! I just feel like it! =P
Im hopelessly addicted to this fishy photo game that is in my new mobile phone.
Fill in every question and don't post w/o filling in every blank with at least a word.
1. Never in my life have I: Bungee Jumped. Married. Given birth. Had a One-Night-Stand. Tasted Snow. Pierced anything other than my ears.
2. The last person I kissed was: JuLes Darling, during Christmas Eve. =)
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile: My elder brother.
4. The high school I go to is: Broadrick. (Late 1990s!)
5. When I'm nervous: I rattle on and on non-stop like a machine gun, fidget non-stop, and never look at the other party directly in the eye.
6. The last time I cried was: In the early wee hours of Christmas Eve a couple of days ago.
7. My hair: Long, wavy, thick, black and heavy! (Needs a trim really soon! I really wanna chop it all off for a bob, BUT most friends say No, Mama included...Cos Ive a round face! BooHoo!)
8. When I was 5, I: I was admitted to the hospital due to a serious asthma attack.
{ I lived the life - Constant TV, Heaps of sleep, snacks from nurses (illegally!) and parents of kids that were in the same ward. Loads of cute lil' babies to play with when no one noticed (The nurses adored me so much they allowed me to roam around the entire floor!). Meals from a menu everyday. The nurses adored my dimples and were sad when I got discharged! :P } and Everyone that I had came into contact with wanted to rob me of my dimples! *Feigns mock horror!*
9. My Christmas last year: Was spent at Ministry of Sound @ Clarke Quay. (Half the time was in the insanely insane queue!)
10. When I turn my head to my right, I see: My very messy and clothes-laden wardrobe! =P
11. I should be: In dreamland (It's 4AM!). Painting my nails in my fave shade of red for a night out with the girls later.
12. When I look down I see: My camo/army-print mini skirt. My thighs. The floor.
13. The craziest recent event was: A knock-out cold pZ sleeping on a pavement by the roadside at 5AM in the morning. (NOT telling! =X )
14. By this time next year: I'd be OLDER! Hopefully, wiser as well.
15. I love: My family, friends, shopping, music, CHOCOLATES! and the smell of rain... :P
16. I have a hard time understanding: Human beings in general, especially beings of the opposite gender.
17. One time at a family gathering: My aunt (maternal side) wanted me to go out on a hot date with her son.
18. You know I like you if: I don't answer all your questions/queries with monosyllables. I take notice of the lil' things, like any weird/funny habits, and I make the effort to remember lil' snippets of and about you. Lastly, I'd take the effort to do things for you that shows that I've remembered those lil' snippets of and about you.
19. Take my advice: "Always wear sunscreen!" (Its actually Bahz Lurman's advice..But whatever! :P ) The shopaholic in me says "Trying is for free until you've gotta pay for it!" =P
20. My ideal breakfast is: In bed. (*Laughs*) Cornflakes with berries and milk, or, pancakes with heaps of maple syrup and butter/margarine. Yummy!
21. If you visit the place I grew up: You'd wake up to the aroma of freshly baked bread from the bakery next door, and have endless supply of magoes, papayas and rambutans. (Sadly, my old place has been torn down and it has made way for condominiums! :( )
22. Soon I plan on visiting: The dentist, to get new "straighteners"/"retainers" for my teeth, and as well as a check-up and some teeth polishing. Bangkok, Taiwan, or my Mama's hometown in Malaysia.
23. If you spend the night at my house: You'd probably be amazed at the amount/collection of clothes, bags, earrings and shoes that I have. You'd probably find that my current bedroom's real tiny and MESSY! You'd probably have to sleep on those thin matresses. (Ive got no spare beds!) You'd probably have to go through the "Ring of Fire", questions from my Mama about you as a person! *Laughs*
24. The world could do without: People who cheat on their significant others. Period.
On a lighter note, people who pick their noses in public!
25. The most recent thing I bought: Christmas gifts for my friends. A skirt and a tube top. My new Sony Ericsson phone (Wait, its a gift from the parents! :P )
26. My favourite brunette is: Angelina Jolie! (I think she looks hotter without Brad Pitt as an accessory, although I think that Brad Pitt's really really HOT!)
27. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: PIGs! *OinK!*
28. Last night I: Had red and white wine with cheese, crackers and "Bak Kwa" (BBQ pork slices) with my brother and his friends. Had a really weird dream. (Not telling! :X )
29. My birthday is on: 2nd June 198X. (Age is just but a number!)
30. Tomorrow I will be: Sleeping in like a pig, or Im off to get a higher memory M2 card for my new phone. If its later today: I'd be out with my girlies, painting the town red with my red nails! *Laughs*
Ive got the urge to bake a raspberry and bluberry cheesecake! Dont ask me why! I just feel like it! =P
Im hopelessly addicted to this fishy photo game that is in my new mobile phone.
Fill in every question and don't post w/o filling in every blank with at least a word.
1. Never in my life have I: Bungee Jumped. Married. Given birth. Had a One-Night-Stand. Tasted Snow. Pierced anything other than my ears.
2. The last person I kissed was: JuLes Darling, during Christmas Eve. =)
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile: My elder brother.
4. The high school I go to is: Broadrick. (Late 1990s!)
5. When I'm nervous: I rattle on and on non-stop like a machine gun, fidget non-stop, and never look at the other party directly in the eye.
6. The last time I cried was: In the early wee hours of Christmas Eve a couple of days ago.
7. My hair: Long, wavy, thick, black and heavy! (Needs a trim really soon! I really wanna chop it all off for a bob, BUT most friends say No, Mama included...Cos Ive a round face! BooHoo!)
8. When I was 5, I: I was admitted to the hospital due to a serious asthma attack.
{ I lived the life - Constant TV, Heaps of sleep, snacks from nurses (illegally!) and parents of kids that were in the same ward. Loads of cute lil' babies to play with when no one noticed (The nurses adored me so much they allowed me to roam around the entire floor!). Meals from a menu everyday. The nurses adored my dimples and were sad when I got discharged! :P } and Everyone that I had came into contact with wanted to rob me of my dimples! *Feigns mock horror!*
9. My Christmas last year: Was spent at Ministry of Sound @ Clarke Quay. (Half the time was in the insanely insane queue!)
10. When I turn my head to my right, I see: My very messy and clothes-laden wardrobe! =P
11. I should be: In dreamland (It's 4AM!). Painting my nails in my fave shade of red for a night out with the girls later.
12. When I look down I see: My camo/army-print mini skirt. My thighs. The floor.
13. The craziest recent event was: A knock-out cold pZ sleeping on a pavement by the roadside at 5AM in the morning. (NOT telling! =X )
14. By this time next year: I'd be OLDER! Hopefully, wiser as well.
15. I love: My family, friends, shopping, music, CHOCOLATES! and the smell of rain... :P
16. I have a hard time understanding: Human beings in general, especially beings of the opposite gender.
17. One time at a family gathering: My aunt (maternal side) wanted me to go out on a hot date with her son.
18. You know I like you if: I don't answer all your questions/queries with monosyllables. I take notice of the lil' things, like any weird/funny habits, and I make the effort to remember lil' snippets of and about you. Lastly, I'd take the effort to do things for you that shows that I've remembered those lil' snippets of and about you.
19. Take my advice: "Always wear sunscreen!" (Its actually Bahz Lurman's advice..But whatever! :P ) The shopaholic in me says "Trying is for free until you've gotta pay for it!" =P
20. My ideal breakfast is: In bed. (*Laughs*) Cornflakes with berries and milk, or, pancakes with heaps of maple syrup and butter/margarine. Yummy!
21. If you visit the place I grew up: You'd wake up to the aroma of freshly baked bread from the bakery next door, and have endless supply of magoes, papayas and rambutans. (Sadly, my old place has been torn down and it has made way for condominiums! :( )
22. Soon I plan on visiting: The dentist, to get new "straighteners"/"retainers" for my teeth, and as well as a check-up and some teeth polishing. Bangkok, Taiwan, or my Mama's hometown in Malaysia.
23. If you spend the night at my house: You'd probably be amazed at the amount/collection of clothes, bags, earrings and shoes that I have. You'd probably find that my current bedroom's real tiny and MESSY! You'd probably have to sleep on those thin matresses. (Ive got no spare beds!) You'd probably have to go through the "Ring of Fire", questions from my Mama about you as a person! *Laughs*
24. The world could do without: People who cheat on their significant others. Period.
On a lighter note, people who pick their noses in public!
25. The most recent thing I bought: Christmas gifts for my friends. A skirt and a tube top. My new Sony Ericsson phone (Wait, its a gift from the parents! :P )
26. My favourite brunette is: Angelina Jolie! (I think she looks hotter without Brad Pitt as an accessory, although I think that Brad Pitt's really really HOT!)
27. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: PIGs! *OinK!*
28. Last night I: Had red and white wine with cheese, crackers and "Bak Kwa" (BBQ pork slices) with my brother and his friends. Had a really weird dream. (Not telling! :X )
29. My birthday is on: 2nd June 198X. (Age is just but a number!)
30. Tomorrow I will be: Sleeping in like a pig, or Im off to get a higher memory M2 card for my new phone. If its later today: I'd be out with my girlies, painting the town red with my red nails! *Laughs*
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Merry and Happy Christmas!
Listening to: Random RnB tracks (Go Fergie!) + groovy jazz.
I got a new phone over the long weekend, simply because my old phone has been acting really strange. It has a habit of cutting conversations off while I am on the phone. (My mum says its cos Ive been on the phone too much that its cranky! *Laughs*) Its LCD is also warped, gone, sorta thing. It hangs or it shows a blank screen or it shows everything in mirror image. Image my frustrations when it constantly hung up on me! (Like the owner I guess, the phone has a really weird temper... =P )
So, Ive got myself a lovely Sony Ericsson K800i! Man, its such a breeze to navigate, maybe because my old phone with a temper was also a Sony Ericsson. I do miss having a bulkier flip phone though. I miss hearing the click sound when I close the flap... And boy does K800i take brillant pictures! All I need is a higher memory M2 card and I can really do heaps with the phone! Im a happy girl! Thanks to my "sponsors", Daddy and Mama for the new phone! *Hearts* =)
This bimbo (*Points at self*) couldn't figure out where the *toot* was the slot for the SIM card, my girly and I were trying to open the new phone up, just so I could insert the SIM card into the new phone while queuing outside "My Playground"...Man, I'm such a bimbo sometimes! So much for technology!
I spent the earlier part of my Christmas Eve with my parents and my brother, until my brother had to go meet up his friends. And then I was in a mad, well, sort of, last minute rush to complete the finishing touches on my Christmas gifts and I went mad trying to hunt for some decent enough Christmas gifts for my darling Pearlyn's parents as I was invited to their place for a Christmas dinner...And with all the jostling and last minute crowds, I was extremely LATE...But what's new? *Laughs*
I didn't eat much at Pearlyn's, largely because I had like a horrid cough since the beginning of December that wouldn't go away, and I was dead afraid of having chicken cos I didnt want my cough to act up again. And my friends were calling me from "My Playground" cos they had already arrived and my old phone was screwing up so much that they couldn't reach me on my old phone. So naturally they were afraid that I was going to not appear.
I grabbed a cab and the lovely cab driver managed to dodge a messy and horrid traffic jam by going via another longer, but car-less road...I love that cab driver! A really chatty guy who knew his way! Thanks alot Uncle! :)
I had an okay time at "My Playground", cos there were plenty of weirdballs and it seemed as though the management decided that since it was Christmas, and rainy, they decided to not switch on the air conditioning! OMGawd! Imagine! It was as though I was stuck in a suana, but it was pretty fun at the end of the night, after all the weird tracks and all, for I'd always have a great night with my girlies! I heart you all! *Loves*
Its kinda cool and great to know almost everyone there already, even the senior manager knows us now...Now all I want is a member card...Give it to me already! *Laughs*
And I had a whale of a time returning home with a really chatty and great cab driver to find my brother and his friends enjoying themselves, chilling by my front porch over bottles of red and white wines! I love cheese and wine!
I only managed to catch up on my snooze only like in the early morning, and I hugged one of my Christmas pressie to zzz...Its HUGE and cuddly, and it's PINK! Its a PIG stuffed toy! I really loved it! :) And I only woke up like in the evening with huge eyebags! Any good eyebags creams to recommend? =P
I met up my girly for dinner cos she was in the area and we had a great time gossiping about random stuff - We even called this guy we knew from "My Playground" just because we were bored. Our initial plans to get to the beach had to be scrapped cos she needed to be home early after all the festivities over the long weekend. And I reached home only to see my brother and his group of friends enjoying themselves over red and white wines...So naturally, I had to join in! *Laughs*
Happy Christmas to one and all!
*huGs*
(P/S: I am still in the process of tweaking this blog page of mine, so bear with me for the moment...I am a perfectionist, so I will and must get my page looking the way I want it to! :P )
I got a new phone over the long weekend, simply because my old phone has been acting really strange. It has a habit of cutting conversations off while I am on the phone. (My mum says its cos Ive been on the phone too much that its cranky! *Laughs*) Its LCD is also warped, gone, sorta thing. It hangs or it shows a blank screen or it shows everything in mirror image. Image my frustrations when it constantly hung up on me! (Like the owner I guess, the phone has a really weird temper... =P )
So, Ive got myself a lovely Sony Ericsson K800i! Man, its such a breeze to navigate, maybe because my old phone with a temper was also a Sony Ericsson. I do miss having a bulkier flip phone though. I miss hearing the click sound when I close the flap... And boy does K800i take brillant pictures! All I need is a higher memory M2 card and I can really do heaps with the phone! Im a happy girl! Thanks to my "sponsors", Daddy and Mama for the new phone! *Hearts* =)
This bimbo (*Points at self*) couldn't figure out where the *toot* was the slot for the SIM card, my girly and I were trying to open the new phone up, just so I could insert the SIM card into the new phone while queuing outside "My Playground"...Man, I'm such a bimbo sometimes! So much for technology!
I spent the earlier part of my Christmas Eve with my parents and my brother, until my brother had to go meet up his friends. And then I was in a mad, well, sort of, last minute rush to complete the finishing touches on my Christmas gifts and I went mad trying to hunt for some decent enough Christmas gifts for my darling Pearlyn's parents as I was invited to their place for a Christmas dinner...And with all the jostling and last minute crowds, I was extremely LATE...But what's new? *Laughs*
I didn't eat much at Pearlyn's, largely because I had like a horrid cough since the beginning of December that wouldn't go away, and I was dead afraid of having chicken cos I didnt want my cough to act up again. And my friends were calling me from "My Playground" cos they had already arrived and my old phone was screwing up so much that they couldn't reach me on my old phone. So naturally they were afraid that I was going to not appear.
I grabbed a cab and the lovely cab driver managed to dodge a messy and horrid traffic jam by going via another longer, but car-less road...I love that cab driver! A really chatty guy who knew his way! Thanks alot Uncle! :)
I had an okay time at "My Playground", cos there were plenty of weirdballs and it seemed as though the management decided that since it was Christmas, and rainy, they decided to not switch on the air conditioning! OMGawd! Imagine! It was as though I was stuck in a suana, but it was pretty fun at the end of the night, after all the weird tracks and all, for I'd always have a great night with my girlies! I heart you all! *Loves*
Its kinda cool and great to know almost everyone there already, even the senior manager knows us now...Now all I want is a member card...Give it to me already! *Laughs*
And I had a whale of a time returning home with a really chatty and great cab driver to find my brother and his friends enjoying themselves, chilling by my front porch over bottles of red and white wines! I love cheese and wine!
I only managed to catch up on my snooze only like in the early morning, and I hugged one of my Christmas pressie to zzz...Its HUGE and cuddly, and it's PINK! Its a PIG stuffed toy! I really loved it! :) And I only woke up like in the evening with huge eyebags! Any good eyebags creams to recommend? =P
I met up my girly for dinner cos she was in the area and we had a great time gossiping about random stuff - We even called this guy we knew from "My Playground" just because we were bored. Our initial plans to get to the beach had to be scrapped cos she needed to be home early after all the festivities over the long weekend. And I reached home only to see my brother and his group of friends enjoying themselves over red and white wines...So naturally, I had to join in! *Laughs*
Happy Christmas to one and all!
*huGs*
(P/S: I am still in the process of tweaking this blog page of mine, so bear with me for the moment...I am a perfectionist, so I will and must get my page looking the way I want it to! :P )
Sunday, December 24, 2006
A New Beginning...
It would have been three -- a celebration of 3 years together on this very day, it would have meant plenty of Christmas surprises, like how you were surprised with 12 Christmas presents for the last 2 years. Christmas, like I told you, in pZ's books, should and would always be celebrated over the 12 days prior to that special day.
It would have meant a celebration with your extended family over the weekend, maybe a "BBQ" celebration, with the once-familiar Christmas tree and decorations yesterday/today before the actual Christmas Eve and then some celebrations with either a dinner at some fanciful place or over movies on our own or just more shopping and you carrying my shopping bags, or maybe up to Mount Faber again, which I kinda forced you into doing in 2005, just because I wanted to have a look at the supposedly tallest artificial Christmas tree or maybe we would might have spent the day doing absolutely nothing - pZ's view of "QT" (Quality Time), or maybe at some club, like what you and I did in 2005.
It would have been, but it will never be. I had really thought that that Someone was the one person that I was going to settle down and grow old with, like how Adam Sandler had sung it in "The Wedding Singer" - Someone whom I had decided to share thick and thin, weal and woe with, Someone who would have and always had my fullest support in all that he does and have done, and he was actually Someone whom I had wanted to start a family with in the near future.
It would have been, but it will never be. Truth to be told, after being attached to Someone for so long, and when things inevitably fall apart, the going really is and got tough in the beginning. Perhaps its to do with the idea of constantly having Someone there for you, where you would sort of, become reliant and dependant after being in the "comfort zone" for a significant period in one's life. It was a horrid time for me, the weeks after "The Break Up", yet it was, from another perspective, liberating and in some warped-up way, learning to become a better pZ all over again.
It was as though somebody had pushed me into the furthest and deepest end of the ocean and I had to learn how to swim or sink and drown there and then. Like what my mama said ~~ "You might have fallen now, but its not the end of the world. There are so much more things in life that you've got to learn and experience... Learn from this experience, let it not become a setback and get up and move on..."
I love you to bits, Mama! :)
I had to learn how to become the fiercely independent girl that I once was before and manage and control the emotions, (or some friends might say, the lack of emotions) when the myriad of what I thought that Someone was had been wasn't what it might have appeared to be. It was as though all of what was in the relationship had been a huge sham, the biggest lie that any one person could have said to me. Yet I chose to believe -- me, the once cynical one. I was so foolish.
I didn't really and couldn't really comprehend how one's intense feelings for another person could just fade away and be gone like the wind in just a matter of weeks after that much amount of time together - the happy and loving moments, the silly conversations we had shared, the "special" names that we had for each other, those drives to strawberry milkshake and MacDonald's breakfast when I was down/sad or angry with him, the angry and sad times, the silly games that we played with each other in public areas, especially on escalators, the celebrations for the special occasions and the quiet moments...
It must have been thousands and thousands of hours added up. I didn't understand, until mutual acquaintances and friends that I bumped into or met up with started telling me anecdotes about him which really was the catalyst, or the imaginary can-opener that opened the huge can of worms that I had never ever imagined things to be.
I wouldn't disclose what were the worms in that huge can, I could not and would never do that - splashing all the dirty lil' secrets that I have come to know of after the relationship ended on the world-wide-web. I could never ever do such a thing, for he was Someone whom I had once placed on the highest pedestal, Someone whom I had once loved.
And to be honest, it wasn't and it hasn't been easy listening to these little anecdotes about him from various people that we had both knew or from people whom I know. Somehow or another, these little anecdotes about him made me see things in a whole new perspective, I woke up from what seemed to be a seemingly long dream, and I started seeing and accepting things for what they are presented to me. It then didn't ache as much as it did seem before.
Thank Gawd for technology, and long-distance phone calls, thank Gawd for inventing tissue paper and concealer! (for those sleepless in Singapore nights.) And thank Gawd for family and friends, they are the reason why you're reading this blog post at this very moment. They have given me courage, strength and happiness once again. I am indeed really thankful and appreciative of how they have forgiven and have embraced me, flaws and all. I am even thankful for those calls by various friends who called just to check if I had died from depression or that I had done something silly. Don't worry, I am still alive... :)
I didn't expect a quarter of 2006 to whizz by, having to defend and protect myself from so many things that I wasn't and hadn't been aware of, for I had assumed that I would usher in the year-end festivities with that Someone. The months have indeed flown by and I have salvaged and renewed friendships, made new friends, where some of whom I have a feeling would be friends for a very very long while. (You know who you ladies and guys are, so take a bow! :P )
At the same time, I have had people who came and resided in my life for some fleeting moments and then disappeared. I thank you people anyways, for having once been part of my life. Somehow or another, these people have affected me in one way or another and have made an impact that I hope that I am now a much stronger being. I am truly grateful and appreciative of your fleeting presence in my life... :)
I have interacted with so many people and have seen and experienced so much of what I thought was not a part of my "so-called life" when I was with him. I guess another plus point of being with a significant other would be that he would try to protect and shield you from the harsh realities of this sad, cruel and ironic world.
"Go with the flow and enjoy life for what it is now..."
I guess that I am learning to enjoy life for what it is now, and to accept that life isn't served to me on a huge silver platter. In a way, I am thankful that things ended. Looking back, there were signs that were obvious that he and I were never meant to be, maybe somehow or another he and I just chose to ignore those subtle signs that were there. I am grateful to the fact that he has taught me much more about myself, about what I truly desire and need and about life during and after the relationship that I would hold close to my heart for a very long time to come... :)
In fact, I hope this would serve as an update to all my friends located or based overseas and locally, and perhaps, new friends on how I am doing, and of the heaps of fun that I have been having all these while... (It gets a lil' dreary having to repeat what I did over the weekend, etc etc for the 12345354687th time... *Laughs* )
So kick back, enjoy that cuppa of whatever you're having and let me share a part of my life with you! :)
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