I dislike it sometimes when over-paranoia takes over, or how I am thinking overtly much about issues, Life and of Him...
It's good that we're finally together, but we've still got heaps more of things to iron out and figure out and conqure along the Journey...
However, a little part of me feels like he's ubberly vexed about issues, and although he tells me in dribs and drabs, I get this feeling that he doesnt wanna overly worry me...
He said I naturally like to over-assume things, and it irked him terribly...
It irked me terribly to know that he thinks that I'm over-bearing, over-emotional, and love to assume sometimes...
=(
But isn't it human nature for a person to make assumptions about things when she / he has no clue what is going on?
I am naturally highly inquisitive, and I love seeking for the truth, I guess it was how I was brought up and circumstances thereafter made me wanna snoop / assume / think too much for it's my self-defense mechanism at work...
The more a person doesn't tell me stuff, the more I'd tend to assume that the person is hiding something from me; And thus far, it has proven me correct always...
=(
Things between us don't feel the same - the sparks and fire is still there, but I cannot pin-point the actualities to it -- I am fearful of being taken for granted, of being lied to, of just being used like a rag doll - When in a good mood, I get all the Love, and when the mood isn't that cheery, I'd get chucked into a corner...
I have feelings too... :(
I hate it immensely of him comparing me with a past I have no part in -- It might be a joke initially, but women are afterall, sensitive creatures, a joke that goes on too long might take on a totally different meaning altogether...
And if it was a meaningless joke, it wouldn't be continously harped on with a serious face... ...
I dislike it when how he'd be all happy and then suddenly telling me that I deserve someone else better, and someone whom is less complicated...
I choose my friends, I choose my Life, and I do love him and leaving him has never ever crossed my mind...
Although we've barely been together, to hear him say these sorta things have been extremely discomforting, and heart-wrenching really! =(
Maybe to him, I'm not at an age close to his, and how I handle and see things differently from him, that somethings he takes in all seriousness with, I take things with pinches of salt --
It's my character, I've been through a dark period in my Life to know that Life without their fair share of seasonings, would be a Life not lived to its fullest...
These insecurities are eating at me, in pieces and chunks, and try as I might, I cannot seem to shake off this feeling...
Suddenly remembers the sms which was sent...
"... ... I will take care of u n treasure u. To me, u r priceless... ..."
We are a Team ~
We promised each other to share, and talk things out...
Yet this aloof-ness is gnawing at me...
It might be work, but work's a major excuse for the nonchalance...
It might be the lack of sleep, but if it was me, I would still try my bestest to cheer the other party, to make sure things are fine...
It might be how he's bothered about the issues-on-hand, and although talking and sharing might not solve things, I can listen, better understand, than for me to second-guess and work around the bad moods, the lack of contact...
And then allow my insecurities and my assumptions to go into overdrive...
I will and shall always be affected by the other party's moods and temper...
I need to know so I at least know how to cheer the person up, or say words of encouragement... Or to just listen when need be, and to offer hugs in return...
Am I wrong to think in such a manner??
=(
Maybe just maybe... ...
I really dunno anymore... ...
=(
"Love would find a way;
Indifferences would merely find excuses..."
It's good that we're finally together, but we've still got heaps more of things to iron out and figure out and conqure along the Journey...
However, a little part of me feels like he's ubberly vexed about issues, and although he tells me in dribs and drabs, I get this feeling that he doesnt wanna overly worry me...
He said I naturally like to over-assume things, and it irked him terribly...
It irked me terribly to know that he thinks that I'm over-bearing, over-emotional, and love to assume sometimes...
=(
But isn't it human nature for a person to make assumptions about things when she / he has no clue what is going on?
I am naturally highly inquisitive, and I love seeking for the truth, I guess it was how I was brought up and circumstances thereafter made me wanna snoop / assume / think too much for it's my self-defense mechanism at work...
The more a person doesn't tell me stuff, the more I'd tend to assume that the person is hiding something from me; And thus far, it has proven me correct always...
=(
Things between us don't feel the same - the sparks and fire is still there, but I cannot pin-point the actualities to it -- I am fearful of being taken for granted, of being lied to, of just being used like a rag doll - When in a good mood, I get all the Love, and when the mood isn't that cheery, I'd get chucked into a corner...
I have feelings too... :(
I hate it immensely of him comparing me with a past I have no part in -- It might be a joke initially, but women are afterall, sensitive creatures, a joke that goes on too long might take on a totally different meaning altogether...
And if it was a meaningless joke, it wouldn't be continously harped on with a serious face... ...
I dislike it when how he'd be all happy and then suddenly telling me that I deserve someone else better, and someone whom is less complicated...
I choose my friends, I choose my Life, and I do love him and leaving him has never ever crossed my mind...
Although we've barely been together, to hear him say these sorta things have been extremely discomforting, and heart-wrenching really! =(
Maybe to him, I'm not at an age close to his, and how I handle and see things differently from him, that somethings he takes in all seriousness with, I take things with pinches of salt --
It's my character, I've been through a dark period in my Life to know that Life without their fair share of seasonings, would be a Life not lived to its fullest...
These insecurities are eating at me, in pieces and chunks, and try as I might, I cannot seem to shake off this feeling...
Suddenly remembers the sms which was sent...
"... ... I will take care of u n treasure u. To me, u r priceless... ..."
We are a Team ~
We promised each other to share, and talk things out...
Yet this aloof-ness is gnawing at me...
It might be work, but work's a major excuse for the nonchalance...
It might be the lack of sleep, but if it was me, I would still try my bestest to cheer the other party, to make sure things are fine...
It might be how he's bothered about the issues-on-hand, and although talking and sharing might not solve things, I can listen, better understand, than for me to second-guess and work around the bad moods, the lack of contact...
And then allow my insecurities and my assumptions to go into overdrive...
I will and shall always be affected by the other party's moods and temper...
I need to know so I at least know how to cheer the person up, or say words of encouragement... Or to just listen when need be, and to offer hugs in return...
Am I wrong to think in such a manner??
=(
Maybe just maybe... ...
I really dunno anymore... ...
=(
"Love would find a way;
Indifferences would merely find excuses..."
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