Just Once - James Ingram

A song that I have been replaying on my music player recently...

Enjoy! =)

I did my best,
But I guess my best wasn't good enough;
Cause here we are
Back where we were before...
Seems nothin' ever changes,
We're back to being strangers,
Wondering if we ought to stay,
Or head on out the door?

Just once...

Can't we figure out what we keep doin' wrong?
Why we never last for very long?
What are we doin' wrong?

Just once...

Can't we find a way to finally make it right?
To make the magic last for more than just one night...
If we could just get to it,
I know we could break through it...
(Hmm hmmmm)

I gave my all,
But I think my all may have been too much,
Cause Lord knows we're not gettin' anywhere...
Seems we're always blowin',
Whatever we've got goin',
And it seems at times with all we've got,
We haven't got a prayer...

Just once...

Can't we figure out what we keep doin' wrong?
Why the good times never last for long?
Where are we goin' wrong?

Just once...

Can't we find a way to finally make it right?
To make the magic last for more than just one night?
I know we could break through it,
If we could just get to it...

(Bridge)
Just once...
I want to understand.....
Why it always comes back to goodbye?
Why?
Can't we get ourselves in hand,
And admit to one another,
We're no good without each other,
Take the best and make it better,
Find a way to stay together...

Just once.....

Can't we find a way to finally make it right (Whoa)?
Make the magic last for more than just one night?
I know we could break through it,
If we could just get to it...

Just Once.....

Whoa oh, we can get to it...

Just Once.....

It's been a year...

Since that phone call over the weekend which was probing me of whom was the person I was so busily distracted from yakking over the phone, where I was so un-like my usual self, sounding very distant while making sure that the curry that I was cooking wouldn't be burnt... I still have the SMS from that phonecaller, whom was asking for whom I was trying to be a "gud housewife" to...


I've never really told anyone, but it was that very same weekend which was the last time that I cried myself to sleep, surrounded by acquaintances I had barely knew, where with a bandaged knee, having the cold hard floor as my company... I had no shoulder to cry on, no one whom comforted, with only the sound of the waves along East Coast Beach for company... I had wanted to walk home alone at 4am, lay on my bed, and just cover myself in the sheets and just cry it out... But I feared that my Mummy would worry about why I was home when I said I would be out for the weekend, and how upset I had been... I didn't want her to worry... :(


The so-called ♥ was asleep soundly, surrounded by his buddies of decades, where no one even bothered to give up some resting place for me, whom had a recently operated knee that was still in pain...
But the hurt had somehow paled in comparison to the hurt that I had felt in my heart... You knew my knee was hurting as it hadn't fully recovered from my operation at the hospital, yet you chose to hush me than to tell your friends to let me have the bed at the chalet...

***

You knew I had wanted your presence just before I had my operation at the hospital, but there you were, lying in the comforts of your room, giving me a live commentary of what was showing on National Geographic... I remembered you rambling on about how some African tribe was performing some ritual...
I also remembered telling the doctor to give me a stronger dosage of the general anaesthesia as I laid on the operating table... I had told the doctor that it was too painful for me to bear; I knew I was lying ~ it was the hurt from your nonchalance and the emptiness I had felt that hurt more than the wound on my knee...
Every single day, I am reminded by your heartlessness when I look at the bump on my knee, yet, at the very next moment, I am reminded of how what hadn't and doesn't kill would merely make me become a stronger girl...


***


Instead of coming over to comfort me as I had blatantly asked of you when I was really sick from a high fever, you merely nonchalantly told me to drink more water and hung up the phone as your friends were waiting for you at the gym, and you didn't want to keep them from waiting...
How could you be so heartless?
How could you simply just take me for granted and only be around when you needed cheering up when you get all emo over your family or work matters, or how you needed financial support in the form of drinking funds for the weekends?


I remembered the argument we had over nonsensicals; I merely had just wanted and wished for you to be honest with me. I had already told you how I cannot endure lies for I have had endured far too many lies in my past relationships... Yet you had to betray the trust that I had in you...
How could you?
You have a very complicated past and family whom lied constantly and yet you lied to the so-called person you had claimed to love?
What a load of bollocks!
Pure bullshite!!


You didnt even filch nor stop me when I took a cigarette from your pack of Marbolos and lighted up that very weekend a year ago... It started to drizzle, then came the pouring thunderstorm; But the strong gusts of winds could never compare to how cold my heart had felt...


It took me 4 months to kick that habit of lighting up whenever I had thought of you... I had never liked smoking, but yet I had became a slave to the addiction, just because I had wanted some attention of any sorts from a man that don't deserve my ♥, my time, nor my efforts...


I remembered how I got so drunk because of you, hugging a gf while crying over someone who don't deserve any of my Love, whom I had wasted so much time, effort and money over...
I was a happy girl and then you had to come along and wreck the happiness and optimism in me... I am now back in a happy place, surrounded by family and friends whom care; but deep within me I know that once a heart has been broken into pieces, it will never ever be the same again...


As the strong gusts of winds blow like how it blew exactly a year ago as I type this, I remind myself to never ever allow myself to be taken for granted by another person ever again, and to never ever cry over a man who don't deserve ME...


And to the Special friend whom sms-ed me that weekend a year ago ~ No, the curry didn't get burnt, although his so-called friends said it wasn't yummy; but yet they finished the whole pot...


*Cynic Smile*


I really do appreciate the ♥, care and concern that my Special friend have showered upon me from miles away for so many many years... I have no idea of how you have the knack for calling or sms-ing me when I always am feeling blue; and I cannot tell you enough times of how appreciative I am for those calls and sms-es... It really means alot to me! :)

“Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until you have accomplished a purpose - not the one you began with perhaps, but one you'll be glad to remember.”

“People seldom see the halting and painful steps by which the most insignificant success is achieved.”

~ Anne Sullivan

I am now stronger and have succeeded in being a happier person!

♥

*Snip sNip*

I went from the what i called "Curry Puff / Pok Pok Puffed hair" to ... ...

Before...






Looking kinda like an Octopus with that Puffy head and with the machine's pipes resembling my tentacles...

*LauGhs*

:P

In between...
"Steaming" the "Crowning Glory"




And after a very "heated" duration acting as a wannabe Octopus... ...


After...
My hair looks even Black-er now, and I didn't even dye it!!
*LoVesss*

=)

The weather was getting to me - Humid, dry, and I even got a shade darker from just walking around without a brolly!! (*HurHur.. Poor me!* :~( )


I wanted so badly to get something done to my hair and after much proscrastination ... ...


I went for a haircut!


The 1st Singleton haircut since 2007!
*LauGhs*


I'm pretty anal when it comes to my hair;
(for some unknown, random reason, I rarely allow people to touch my hair...)

I was actually quite hesitant to chop off my locks, due to me having bad experiences with hairstylists who wanna earn the buck than to really listen to what I want for my hair...

But my previous experience of getting a haircut was amazing, so I wasn't that frightened to
re-visit the salon... But my previous Hairstylist / Boss of the salon absconded with the salon's funds, never to return (I'm not kidding!), so I handed my locks over to the new Boss, who really looks familiar, as though I've seen him around in St James, which he vehemently denies... ...
:P



Truth is, it wasn't anything much of a drastic haircut, it was merely a trim, of probably 2 inches to snip off all the bad split ends... (Strange, but my split ends are getting bad... Probably cos i'm getting, unfortunately, older... *SiGh*) But I finally mustered courage to get some treatment for the locks, cos I usually dislike having heat or chemicals on my head... But knowing how shitty my hair looks and how un-happy I've been recently, i decided to go ahead with my gut feeling to get the more things done to my hair just to cheer myself up...


And?




The after effects was so amazing!!


=D


I ♥ my hair!!

It smells really good, feels real bouncy, and it really feels and looks like those hair ad-worthy of luscious locks!!

And the best bit? My hair treatment only cost me $35, which according to my Hairstylist, is at 50% off due to the Great Singapore Sale!

But according to my Brother, whom is a regular at the salon, is suspicious of why the treatment of my hair of such long length would only cost $35...


(Ermm, maybe because my Hairstylist thinks I'm hilariously humorous, or that Business was slow earlier this afternoon? :P )

*LauGhs*



Even Mummy ♥s my hair and told me to ring up my Hairstylist and let him know that my "Elder Sister" would love to get her hair snipped there!
*LauGhs*


(Cos I told her the story of how I asked the Hairstylist if he was surprised that I'm my brother's younger sister, cos most people have commented that I look older than he does... *LauGhs* )




For the first time, in a very very longgggggg while... I'm absolutely happy with how my hair turned out!!





YiPPpppppEEeeee!!!


=D



♥♥♥

A Sporadic Update...

*LauGhs*

My bad!



The reasons why this blog has not been updated in eons when Ive promised I would have is because... ...


I seriously am darn terribly busy!
(I wished I had 30 hours in a day! So that I'd be able to sleep for another 6 more hours! :P )

*At close to 6am after a night out at the clubs!*


I've been busy saving the economy, shopping, and window shopping more often since the office has reduced everyone's pay by making us work less hours...

Less for $hoe fund$! HurHur! :~(

*TeeHee*
(Don't ya just adore the PINK rose? So cuttee!!)


My buys from the trip to KL; Malaysia in February!
(I went with my Brother!! :P )


During one of the shopping sprees with my daRLing YuN in March!
(I *heart* the MAC Hello Kitty brochure lots! :D )


I've also been out clubbing, painting the town PINK in my LBDs, and having a whale of a time!

And I met up with my BFF for some teh halia (Ginger tea) at our fave joint!

My BESTEST friend for 13 years and counting!!
:D

I cannot wait to go shopping with her just like the good old times in JB!
:P

*sMiLes*


And I met up with real long-time mates for some Karaoke!!!

=)

And there's school, tutorials and readings to complete, and mundane routine called work!


Which reminds me, I've smthg from school to mug, so I'd update again... ...

REALLY SOON!!!


=D




*heaRts*

阴天...

My bad - I havent been blogging!

And since all my pictures are taken by my darLing Yun who is pretty laggy with loading pics into her PC, I've since loaded what she has sent up onto FaceBook, so much so that this pinky lil' site has been very ignored!


Another reason, which is pretty lame, is cos I didnt wanna blog as it had reminded me too much of my previous relationship, and how his colleagues would check up my blog and all...


It was a wee bit too much for me to bear to blog, for wounds were raw, open and I was terribly hurt...


Lame, I know...


Well, althought there are times when I still think of him (I even texted him in one of those random moments, and cried in darLing Yun's lap over him, those days are hopefully over...), I'm definitely at a happier place in my Life. where I am happy to have family and dear friends that Love me so much!! :)



My BAD!! (>.<") I will get the layers of dust off my blog once exams are over!!!


And to those who dunno, I had my 1st A after my A levels for one of my modules last semester!! :D

And I'm extremely proud to say that I survived a round of retrenchment at my Forever21 age!!

*LauGhs*



I had a fun night with my darLings at our usual joint, with some silly guy buying us 2 bottles of M&C, and we had beers and hard liquors as well!! :P


BacK to Books and Notes!!

Here's something to share, which I had posted onto my FaceBook page...

:)



One of my all-time fave songs, which has been my constant companion during my studying during this time, and how it suits the weather currently...


I heart the lyrics of the song too!


Very accurate description of the game of Love, well, for me anyways...


Enjoy the MV, and the lyrics...


Since the "gah-men" says to speak more Mandarin from now, if anyone needs translation, pay me and I'd share!


*LauGhs*











莫文蔚 - 阴天

"阴天, 在不开灯的房间,
当所有思绪都一点一点沉淀...

爱情, 究竟是精神鸦片,
还是世纪末的无聊消遣?

香烟, 氲成一摊光圈.
和他的照片就摆在手边,
傻傻两个人笑得多甜...


开始总是分分钟都妙不可言,
谁都认为热情它永不会减,
除了激情褪去后的那一点点倦...


也许像谁说过的贪得无厌,
活该应了谁说过的不知检点.
总之那几年感性赢了理性那一面...


阴天在不开灯的房间,
当所有思绪都一点一点沉淀,
爱恨情欲里的疑点盲点,
呼之欲出那么明显...

女孩, 通通让到一边,
这歌里的细微末节就算都体验,
若想真明白, 真要好几年...


回想那一天, 喧闹的喜宴...
耳边想起的究竟是序曲或完结篇?


感情, 不就是你情我愿,
最好爱狠扯平俩不相欠.
感情说穿了, 一人挣脱的, 一人去捡...


男人大可不必百口莫辨,
女人实在无须楚楚可怜...
总之那几年, 你们俩个没有缘...


阴天, 在不开灯的房间,
当所有思绪都一点一点沉淀.
爱情, 究竟是精神鸦,
还是世纪末的无聊消遣?

香烟, 氲成一摊光圈,
和他的照片就摆在手边...


傻傻两个人, 笑得多甜...
傻傻两个人, 笑得多甜..."

Looking Forward --> February!

New month, new beginnings...


Today marked the first day of work after a very long 9 days of blissful nothing-ness, and I dozed off in front of the PC at work! :P


Shifted to my new "cubicle" and I have been dreading this day for quite some time! I am sure gonna miss my old lil' messy cubicle, where guys are always easier to chat with than the females at my workplace!

I've always disliked cacophony at work! And to be surrounded by people whom have nothing in common with me is making me dread going to work!


:(



I'm definitely in need of a breather, despite having been off from work for 9 long days!


I'm heading to K.L, Malaysia in a fortnight's time, and I can't wait!!!

=D

(Even though its just a 2 days 1 night stay!! And the fact that I'd be going with my brother is a lil' random... Cos I've never been overseas alone with him, and it'd be like us fighting over the Loo every morning again!! *LauGhs*)



And I'm really looking forward to Jenny's ROM on the 24th! :)





Oh, there's also the cliche Valentine's next week!!

And I've already gotten DATES on that day... ...



I've got classes from 12th - 14th every evening! (O_O")

I'd be having HOTTT dates with my lecturers!

*LauGhs*


But it's okay! Cos I'm loving Life and I'm happy to have family and my darLings whom adore me to heaps...

:)



Today's supposedly the 1st anniversary year that I first met the ex bf, and despite how the hurt's still aching, I'm moving on...

Cos he ain't worth it!




pZ deserves better!!




*Better in time!*


:)

The Lunar New Year 0f 2009...

Has been a hectic one, with gatherings at my place with the relatives, and plenty of partying over the 9 long days of break I got as my office was closed over the Lunar New Year period...


Plenty of fun with my darLings! :)


Photos and more to be updated soon!
(Cos it's day 1 of work today after a long long break, and I'm exhausted!!)


*heaRts*