Take a bow - I gave him love, All he gave me was pretense...

"Ohhh, oooo...

The flowers are faded now,
Along with your letters,
They will never see the light of day.
Cause I'll never take them out...



And there's no turning back,
Its for the better.
Baby, I deserved more than empty words,
And promises.
I believed everything you said,
And I gave you the best I have...
Ohhh...



So take a bow.
Cause you've taken everything else...
You played the part,
And like a star you played it so well...
Take a bow,
Cause this scene is coming to an end,
I gave you love,
All you gave me was pretense...
So now,
Take a bow...



The future's about to change...
Before you know it,
The curtain closes...
Take a look around,
There's no one in the crowd...



I'm throwing away the pain,
And you should know that your performance,
It made me stronger now...



So take a bow.
Cause you've taken everything else...
You played the part,
And like a star you played it so well...
Take a bow,
Cause this scene is coming to an end,
I gave you love,
All you gave me was pretense...
So now,
Take a bow...



Well it must have been slight of hand,
Cause I still can't understand,
How I could never see,
Just what a fool believed...
Umm...



But the lies they start to show;
Tell me how it feels to know,
Right now that I wont be around?
So baby before I put you out...



So take a bow.
Cause you've taken everything else...
You played the part,
And like a star you played it so well...
Take a bow,
Cause this scene is coming to an end,
I gave you love,
All you gave me was pretense...
So now,
Take a bow...



So take a bow.
Cause you've taken everything else...
You played the part,
And like a star you played it so well...
Take a bow,
Cause this scene is coming to an end,
I gave you love,
All you gave me was pretense...
So now,
Take a bow... ..."

Take A Bow, When you get to the part, Where you're breaking my heart...

"Take a bow, the night is over,
This masquerade is getting older.
Lights are low,
the curtains down;
There's no one here...
[There's no one here, there's no one in the crowd]

Say your lines,
but do you feel them?
Do you mean what you say, when there's no one around?
[no one around]
Watching you, watching me, one lonely star...

[One lonely star you don't know who you are]



I've always been in love with you...
[always with you]
I guess you've always known it's true...
[you know it's true]
You took my love for granted, why oh why?
The show is over, say good-bye...

Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye...


Make them laugh, it comes so easy...
When you get to the part,
Where you're breaking my heart...
[breaking my heart]
Hide behind your smile,
All the world loves a clown...
[Just make 'em smile the whole world loves a clown]


Wish you well,
I cannot stay...
You deserve an award for the role that you played...
[role that you played]

No more masquerade,
you're one lonely star...
[One lonely star and you don't know who you are]


I've always been in love with you...
[always with you]
I guess you've always known it's true...
[you know it's true]
You took my love for granted, why oh why?
The show is over, say good-bye...


Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye...


All the world is a stage,
[world is a stage]
And everyone has their part...
[has their part]
But how was I to know which way the story'd go?
How was I to know you'd break...
[You'd break, you'd break, you'd break]
You'd break my heart...?



I've always been in love with you,
[I've always been in love with you]
Guess you've always known...
You took my love for granted, why oh why?
The show is over, say good-bye...


Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye...
Say good-bye... ..."

The End marks A New Beginning...

"What we call the beginning is often the end.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from."
T.S. Eliot said.



The relationship has ended, for reasons I do not wish to elaborate on via my blog, for friends whom truly matter are aware of the on-goings...




The hurt, the "tests" / lies and most I had experienced were excruciatingly painful, and extremely traumatic to deal with...

There are nights where I lie awake thinking about the reasons why I was being put to the test countless of times, being doubted upon...





It dawned upon me that without trust, nothing can ever work out...




I gave my all.
I loved Him more than I did of my previous boyfriends;
Yet to be at the receiving end of such mistrust was just too much for me to swallow...


I really had thought that he was THE ONE after going through so much bitter and painful experiences in the past...




Yet, perhaps this is Life's way of teaching me an extremely bitter lesson... ...

























I thank all whom have been concerned, and whom have been giving me encouragement and calling me to make sure I am okay! :)
I truly appreciate it! :D



Happy belated 2010 to one and all!


Hope the fortnight of festivities has been filled with smiles and plenty of Love!

=)

SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!

"Me, I'm scared of everything, I'm scared of who I am, what I saw, what I did, but most of all I am scared of walking out of this room and never feeling for the rest of my life, the way I feel when I'm with you."





To Baby GlueGun :

I'm sorry for all the hurt caused upon you. I am sorry for keeping you waiting, for lying to you, and for shutting off my phone.


I know saying sorry won't erase the pain I've had inflicted upon you, for they were the very 3 most hateful things in your Life.


As you lay asleep on the other line, I just want to tell you from the bottom of my heart:


You said I have to bear the consequences of my own actions for treating you this way, for abusing the trust you had in me; and for disrespecting you.


Im not an angel, neither am I perfect, I wished I was though -- I wished I had a magic wand to eradicate all the pain I've had inflicted upon you; to wave off all the unhappiness in your Life, and to make things between us right. I wished I could, but I cannot take back my words, the lies I've spoken to you, and take back the hurt I've caused.


I can only ask for your forgiveness, for another chance to make things work, and for us to give the relationship another chance.


You would always tell me I have plenty of niceties to say, and how I seem to always have the right words to say... And how whatever I say now won't repair the damage I've caused.


However, SORRY is the only thing I can say now, and despite how it can never remove the pain I've caused, I am truly remorseful and repentful...


Please forgive me, and give me, and give us another chance to make things right...


I ♥ you!

Hope Floats...

Hope is all I can ask for...



May he be happier, despite the recent happenings...






May he not still be so worried...






Hope floats... ...





=)






I ♥ You, Baby GlueGun!

The Failure in Striving for Perfection...

When one is in Love,
More often than not, we would want things to be perfect,
and strive for perfection...


But as always,
things more often than not, don't always seem to go as you have in mind,
or have planned...


I wanted to chase away his Blues,
I wanted to always be there cheering him on...
Likewise, I had wanted similiar feelings to be reciprocated...



But then, why are we doing what we are doing to each other now?

=(




I Love Him,
I've never ever been more sure than anything else...
But his nonchalance and him ignoring me, not replying to my emails nor sms-es is heartbreaking...




"There's a danger in loving somebody too much,
And its sad when you know, it's your heart you can't trust..."






I am extremely depressed and confused...



=(












"I don't wanna lose you,
I don't wanna use you,
just to have sombody by my side...
And I don't wanna hate you,
I don't wanna take you,
But I don't wanna be the one to cry...

That don't really matter to anyone, anymore,
But like a fool I keep losing my place,
And I keep seeing you walk through that door...

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
And its sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust...
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are,
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough...


Now I could never change you,
I don't wanna blame you...
Baby you don't have to take the fall.


Yes I may have hurt you,
But I did not desert you,
Maybe I just want to have it all...


It makes a sound like thunder,
It makes me feel like rain...
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change...

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
And its sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust,
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are...
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough...


And there's no way home...
when it's late at night and you're all alone...
Are there things that you wanted to say?
Do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you where I used to lay?


And there's a Danger in Loving somebody too much,
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch...
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are,
Cause baby sometimes love just ain't enough...
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough... ..."

“Lovers and madmen have such seething brains, such shaping fantasies, that apprehend more than cool reason ever comprehends.”

~ William Shakespeare; A MidSummer Night's Dream.

Love is like chocolate,
Sometimes dark and bitter,
Sometimes sweet and nutty...
Yet,
It's always so sinfully good,
although being superbly fattening...



In another breathe,
Forrest Gump once taught the world how...

"Life is just like a box of chocolates,
You're never gonna know what you're gonna get..."

Many a times, we all are humans searching for Someone, I had given up the goal of the majority population of searching for a particular Someone;
Love, in particular, for I had truly given up wanting to spend time to make things work, for there weren't deserving guys around to make me want to make the effort...


Then like how Forrest Gump taught us in that box office smash hit, one would never know what you would be getting when you are totally not expecting anything...


Baby GlueGun came into my Life, totally unexpected, and I struggled deep within me for I never ever thought I was able to fall in Love with an individual that quickly...
When I knew him better, his past, his Life; I made decisions and choices after thinking things through... For his past made him who he is now, and I would still cherish and adore him as we walk hand-in-hand into the future...


Yet, the insecurities surrounding me has seemingly brought the happiness to an abrupt stop; made the cynicism in me take total control...

We have not come to a mutual ground with regards to issues;
For one, he thinks it is perfectly alright to meet chicks he knew online as friends...
Whereas I think otherwise of wanting to collect friends as though I was collecting stickers...

Without any hesitations, he said...

"If can't be Lovers, we can always remain as friends..."


I almost wanted to collaspe into a heap, retreat back into the little girl that I was that rainy night when I only had beers, painkillers and sleeping pills for company...



I have never ever felt the feelings I am feeling now in my previous relationships,
I do not know how to fight against the torrid of tears streaking down my cheeks...
I do not know how to comfort myself;
Words have seemingly come to a standstill...




I know it is unfair and extremely selfish of me to add onto his worries and burdens, which are of greater severity than mine;
But I am, afterall, "just a little girl, standing in front of a little boy, asking him to love her..." ...




I'm probably like his doggies, I crave for the attention and for the tenderness which he showers onto his dog, so much so that I sometimes admire the doggie;
He gets all the affection, yet when I feel insecure and have tears rolling down my eyes, it takes him eons to realise, and for him to offer words to soothe, and some concern...

Yet despite it all... ...






"For aught that I could ever read;
Could ever hear by tale or history;
The course of true love never did run smooth.

And yet, to say the truth,
Reason and love keep little company together nowadays."

~ William Shakespeare; A MidSummer Night's Dream.



I will press on, and never give up on him,
For the very reason for us to have found each other, getting to know each other and then be an item has been a rollercoaster ride;
We have done our fair shares of pushing the other party away;
We have cried and we have smiled and been through quite a tumultuous period of time, despite how short a time we've been officially together...
For despite his flaws, he makes me feel imperfectly special, and how the little things he does puts smiles on my face...



It takes 2 hands to clap, and I know, for sure, that we would work hand-in-hand, and iron out our differences and our opinions...


May we come to some form of consensus soon, in some way or another...



For Baby GlueGun ~

I'm sorry for being overtly insecure, for having a less trusting heart than the majority, and how I am deeply insecure about bits of your thought process...


I'm sorry for adding onto your woes when you already have a mountainful to deal with...


Please forgive me!


May you be optimistic and think positively about the issues that have been troubling you ~

We will conquer them all, hand-in-hand!



I Love You!

♥